Did you see this?
I’m no stranger to challenges. In fact, the only way I’ll do most things is by challenge, up to and including paying for dinner.
Pat approached me (and a few other authors) with the notion of doing guest reviews awhile ago. Unfortunately, he forgot to phrase it in the form of a challenge, so I was left to do it myself. The details, sparse as they are, are in that there blog post wot I done linked.
And the big contestants are…
Confessions of a Shopaholic, by Sophie Kinsella
Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
Twilight, by Stephenie Meyers.
Since I doubt Pat has the CHUTZPAH to bring his viewers to task like the beasts they are, I demand that you, the good people, settle this for us. Which of the above is the one book I must read and review? Which of the above is so chock full of girliness as to counteract the testosterone that pools beneath my feet? Which one must I endure with more hate and anger than my greatest grandfather, Silas P. Sykes, endured in the trenches of Dubya Dubya One?
POST TO THIS BLOG WITH YOUR VOTE AND THY WILL SHALL BE DONE (assuming more people agreed with you than anyone else). Vote now. VOTE NOW OR I WILL MAKE YOU INTO PERFECT OVEN FRIES EVERY TIME.
And as to the fellow on there who challenged me to read Goodkind’s Wizard’s First Rule…
…accepted.
See you all in hell.
Eat Pray Love.
Say goodbye to the little bit of sanity you have left Mr. Sykes. Mhuahahahaah!!!
I agree with Johann on this one. Eat, Pray, Love gets my vote. I’ve heard from several middle-aged women–the key demographic of the novel–that it’s horridly pretentious and nauseatingly girly. Enjoy!
I dare you – no, I double dare you – to make it all the way through Twilight without wanting to stick needles in your eyes.
I say Confessions of a Shopaholic, since a) I’ve actually read that book and b) it really is incredibly girly!!
Definitely Eat, Pray, Love. Twilight is probably so stupid it’s funny. And Confessions of a Shopaholic sounds like it might approach its subject matter with attitude and humor.
Even the movie trailer for Eat, Pray, Love is too syrupy sweet, dripping with the ooze of feminine self-relection. Enjoy.
I say Eat, Bray, Lave, & twist in the wind.
Afterwards though, you have to go see the film of the same staring Horse-Face.
Now that’s a challenge.
E.
Another vote for Eat Pray Love.
SAM SYKES!
Are you a bad enough dude to read the shittiest, girliest book in the world?!
Prove it! Read Twilight!
I vote: Eat, Pray, Love. I was actually dragged to the cinema to watch the film version. Surprisingly, I didn’t hate is much as I thought I would. Unsurprisingly, the women I was with loved it. If the film is anything to go by, then the pop-psychology message is hardly profound or anything new. After the film, I imagine the book will be like a mash-up of Chick-lit, Disney and Oprah. Can you handle it Sykes? 🙂
I vote for Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Because its the only one of the three I would myself read if a gun were at my head, but if the other two were forced on me, I might just let the gunman shoot.
So…Out of sympathy for a fellow human psychopath, Go shopaholic.
Ignore the horrible commenters who would subject you to Eat Love Pray. Clearly they are not thinking of their own interests. If you read that crapola it will probably scar you. It will effect your writing and we will be deprived of future Sykes goodness.
Would love to see your take on Twilight 🙂
I still think Fear of Flying by Erica Jong beats them all. And it predates all the other chick lit mentioned. I was forced to read this in college and hated every minute of it. I was a gut-wrenching feminist nightmare that made want to set my pubic hair on fire rather than finish it. If you think you are man enough write an objective review of it. We will see if Sam Sykes gets in tough with his blubbering feminine side.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_of_Flying_%28novel%29
Yeah the typo’s are on purpose. The horror… the horror…
Other than the Mud People section being way too long, I thought “Wizard’s First Rule” was a really good read and enjoyed it. I just saw the movie “Eat, Pray, Love,” and think you’d actually enjoy it. It surprised me. But that may not be as girly as you desire for the above described effect. Personally, for pure joy of seeing you suffer, my vote is “Twilight.”
Enjoy brother! By the way, my WFC goal is to read “Tomes” before I get there. Hope it’s a more pleasant experience than you’re expecting from the above list. LOL
“Wizard’s First Rule” is a decent read but it has a fair share of girliness (I think it comes from Goodkind’s ponytail). I’ve never read a fantasy novel where the “hero” cries as much as Richard does in “Wizard’s.” Actually come to think of it I can’t think of any heroes in any other books that cry. Despite the continuous weeping it still has way more testosterone than the three books you listed, combined. I would not recommend it however as a means for growing your balls back after reading one of the titles listed above. Go with something more manly like Conan, George R.R. Martin, or Abercrombie.
With that said, as much as I hate Twilight, it reads like Dick and Jane and you can finish it in about 2 hours, so I would recommend that one. Get in and get out with as little time spent possible. Read it in a Starbucks and you may pick up a chick or two to boot.
Michael, women everywhere now know what a *cough* date with you is like and are hoping, may I say praying that, you are gay or married.
Wow! Equating my playful mocking of chick lit to my dating skills is quite a leap. Worry not and refrain from praying, as my post in no way shape or form is indicative of how I am on a date, at work, at climbing mountains, making paper airplanes, or interacting with common barnyard animals. It is merely a display of my sarcasm and cheekiness (and hopefully decent use of the English language).
But for those who still insist on making this leap, did I mention I like bubble baths and long walks on the beach?
ROFLMAO. and may i recommend the bubble bath after the beach walk. 🙂
Ick!
I’m a girl and I’d have to be challenged like this to even pick up these books.
That said, I think maybe Shopaholic would be the least cringe worthy.
Maybe?
Good luck!
Going to have to vote (belatedly) for Shopaholic as the unabashedly girliest, most annoying, least tolerable of the three choices. (Though in all fairness, I have read exactly 20 pages of the first Twilight book, and did not throw it across the room in disgust only because it was borrowed.)
Eat Pray Love actually seemed like a tolerable book to me. Though I have to say, anyone (specifically women) out there who are currently going through a divorce…. DO NOT READ IT. Haven’t seen the movie but it certainly looks sticky-sweet by comparison; if you can identify with the trials of someone in the book, it’s anything but gooshy. Probably girly in the sense that these are not a man’s personal issues, but not in the “ooooh my gosh did you SEE that handbag!” sense. Thank God.
Shopaholic sounds the least bad, and Twilight sounds the most funny-bad…so go with Eat, Pray, Love. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot minimizing glass, no sir.
I should’ve nominated The Man Who Makes Husbands Jealous by Jilly Cooper. These choices are way too obvious and pedestrian.
Go for Eat, Pray, Love… the title itself bore enough girliness to make Twilight appear like it was written by a man and Shopaholic was written for man.
Actually I read all three and enjoyed one of them the second time when I was paid to read it and saw through to its sole (like a shoe, not misspelled, although my initial take on its “red jello” spirituality and “white entitled mentality” angst made me pan it personally AND I enjoyed the movie. Twilight as a tribute to “save me so I can disappear into your identity and make babies” stories everywhere actually build testosterone slightly, so let it be said I vote Kinsella.
Although I would nominate as a write in ballot ANY Danielle Steele book, but since it is currently selling like fast food hotcakes with just as much damage to American taste try “Southern Lights”.
As much as i’d love to read a furious Sykes rant on the all-consuming crapulence of Twilight, i’m going to have to put my name down for Eat, Pray, Love. It’s the perfect storm of suburban self-entitlement and stupidity, guaranteed to haunt your dreams long after the reading is through.
Eat, Pray, Love. There was a TED Talk where the author spoke on how difficult it is to be a genius. You need to set her straight about the definition of that word.