I think it’s pretty evident by now that I’m a pretty horrible person.
The list of travesties I have committed in the singular name of love and hate would, if made into a kite, fly across the sky and paint the wind with the words: “SAM SYKES ONCE TRIED HUMAN FLESH, SAM SYKES ONCE POOPED IN JOE ABERCROMBIE’S SHOES, SAM SYKES PRIVATELY THINKS KOALAS ARE A BULLSHIT ANIMAL” and other such stanzas of confessional poetry.
And that’s just what’s been annotated.
The real list of my sins goes far beyond that and, to avert the visions of a hell reserved for those few people whose eccentricities become just a bit too much to be bearable (haunted primarily by the ghost of Paul Reiser and Jerry Seinfeld), I have attempted to atone through a variety of ways.
Patrick Rothfuss has been critical in this endeavor and through him, I have the opportunity to brush the devil’s cold hand from my shoulder once again.
By checking out this link, you can see that a great award awaits you. An opportunity to play Dungeons and Dragons with me and a few other detestable authors at this year’s Immortal ConFusion is up for sale. All proceeds of this auction will go to benefit Heifer International, an extremely satisfying charity.
Think of it! You could be in my company! Me! The very Sam Sykes! And some other jerks! And for a good cause?
Dare you dream of it?
Dare you bid on it?
Do it all night.